Dismantle Me

Things have changed. Again.

I've gone from being miserable about Ben to be being miserable about someone else (for Max's sake, I wont mention who) to being miserable about Ben to being miserable about someone else. The fact that it's almost five in the morning isn't helping my case. Also, I don't really know what to do with myself nowadays. I have been home for just about a week straight, aside from work.

Anyway, Max, your folk band sounds awesome. I'm up for Beirut-inspired songs.

Wake up

I've been ignoring this thing for quite some time. Mostly I just dread reading the stupid things I penned while I was going through various phases.

Lately I've found that it's impossible to breathe when life has you by the throat- things change so quickly. Any type of feelings I ever had for Ben -- friendly or otherwise -- have ebbed away, at least from my consciousness. Love isn't ever as dramatic as we make it out to be. I think it's more gentle than a smack in the face, not like I thought before. I think it's just a slow fall with no sort of end in sight.

Once more.. nothing like I've imagined for so long.

there's nothing

quite as therapeutic as standing in the middle of an empty street, while the sky cries.

i swear, could see for miles.

All the shit

I said I was gonna do when we broke up hasn't happened yet. None of it.

I've just thrown myself into music, so far.

I was happy to see Max perform this evening. Mandolina (Mandolino?) is a lucky, lucky instrument.

Fuckin' A

I can see again! I can see again! I am free from the oppression that those infatuations can bring! It hurts to be so painfully aware of my idiocy, but hopefully you've noticed your own.

Don't get me wrong,
I would still take you back
in a second (or two).

Nothing quite wakes you up

like a 3 AM run in the pouring rain.

I'm soaked down to my bones and nothing is making sense. I just don't care anymore.