Drama

is a bitch.

Keep it away from me.

Nonsense.

I know you don't understand me.

To be honest, I don't understand myself either. Isn't that sad? I think I'm a total bitch for what I've done, but I'm only human, and even if that's no excuse... I look out for myself because nobody else will.

There's nothing I could really say that would help my case. I mean, I dunno, it's all my fault. I say that too much, but it always is.

You should have known.
I've told you.

That I'm a waste of time.
And that I will hurt you.


On a less depressing note (oh, wait) HIGHSCHOOL STILL SUCKS!

I don't want to go to school at all; middle school sucked as well. Elementary was great but I'm past that whole being a child thing.

To be honest, I'm kind of bored with myself.

Kickin' off September with style.

Not really.

"Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you."

So. I don't know what to say.

My stomach is sinking like a ship.

Don't panic.

I've got a sore throat and a lot of spare time. Tomorrow maybe I'll kick off the beginning of September with an Ode to School. Ha, not. Tomorrow, though, I'm going to Art Splash with Michael. I'm worried he will get bored, but I never do at those sorts of things. Actually, thinking about it, I'm really nervous that he will. But I just have problems with that, I aim to please, in a really twisted way, I guess. That's what my TAG survey said, at least. :)

And the day after, I will be hitting Minneapolis to go to the Mall of America (ooh, charming) and the Format's show. I'm especially excited for the latter because the Format is like seeing.. I dunno. What's a band everyone loves? I have no idea, but it's a big thing for me. The Format is one of my favorite bands of all time.

On a different note.. Today I was laying in the grass outside of Kate and Lorraine's house. Just looking up at the tree, like I always do. Well, I mean, I always lay in the grass. Anyway, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have the friends I've got. Taylor was sitting in the tree I was looking at and so was Kate. They were fighting over bubble wrap or something. Juvenile but great. I really do love them. Meh.

I am on the phone now, though, so I'm going to continue this later.

I have

difficulty keeping up with this blog. I'll post when I can, but I've found that since school has started, I'm always doing something or another, and with work on top of that it's just.. hard. I still spend time on the computer but not at all hours of the night, which is usually when I'm feeling "inspired" (how pretentious). So I'll just, you know, update so far.

I am exhausted but I don't come home and take naps. I've got pressure and it's hard to handle. I'm used to slacking off and still getting what I want. I've already failed a biology quiz. Which wasn't so bad, seeing as it was worth like, five points, but that's irrelevant. I need to pay more attention to what the hell I'm doing, because I'm clearly not as smart as I thought.

I get pushed around a lot and I seriously need to lose weight. I look in the mirror and my mood just deflates.

On the bright side, I'm going to see the Format in Minneapolis this weekend. You have no idea how excited I am for this, honestly!! See, I used multiple exclamation points. Now you KNOW I'm excited. Anyway, I should also get some shopping in, and Kate and Lorraine and coming also, so it should be fun. I mean, I dunno, I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I'm really excited. It feels nice to be in a decent mood.

Tomorrow's Kate and Lorraine's birthday party as well. And for a certain screaming idiot who decided it best to yell at Lorraine for not being invited, well, maybe you should consider that you're not that fun, and you're not as intelligent as you think. And you should stop pushing people around, because it's not going to keep boosting your confidence forever.

I dunno. I feel kind of vengeful.

We'll see what happens.

A bientot!

So long sweet summer.

I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays.
So long sweet summer,
I fell into you, now you're gracefully falling away.

Hey thanks, thanks for that summer.
It's cold where you're going,
I hope that your heart's always warm.
I gave you the best,
I gave you the best that I had.

Passed on the letters and passed on the best that I had.

--

Can't believe that summer's gone.

A new school equals a new mentality for me.

Or that's what I'd like, at least.

Today wasn't so bad. It'll get worse, though.

Equivalent exchange.

You're always telling me I don't have enough faith in you. But your lack of affection's like a lack of oxygen. And I know if you cared for me like you seem to, or claim you do, you would let me know, at least once, the depth of your feelings. I'd be content with that. Some words to fall asleep thinking about, you know? Instead I'm left with an empty heart and a head full of assumptions.

Some day, I'm going to tell you, point blank, that you need to let me know if you're leading me on or if you actually care for me. Because I need to know. But as impatient as I am, I'd wait forever for you. Don't let that give you a big head.

Two years out of forever. Think we can make it a few decades more?