bills to pay

I finished rereading Twilight today. It took longer than I expected. It's such an unrealistic book. For some reason, though, it makes me happy, and it's well-written and I like it. So there. I guess I am a typical teenage girl. But you already knew that.

My face really itches. I have bad skin. Woe.

I have nothing interesting to contribute this evening. I feel crappy and it's affecting everything, I'm afraid. Not emotionally. Emotionally I'm fine. Physically I am weary.

Meh.

Blatant symbolism

I dreamt a cougar took your life, and I wept for all the things I'd never said

Blatant symbolism? I think so
But I've never suspected my REM of being subtle

You know,

I could have done it
I could have told you today

But instead I traced the words into your back with my fingertip as you slept

I could have sworn

you were going to say something more.

I look up at you sometimes and I can't believe how beautiful you are. I want to freeze time and live with your eyes in mine for a week, a month, a year.

I closed my eyes to make a wish

but it was already 11:12

The only world I can think of is "foreboding"

I have an awful feeling in my stomach. Everything that happens makes it worse. It's growing, gnawing at my insides. I think disintegrating them would be more accurate. I don't understand; I've had a good day, I got a book and I spent time with friends and my illness is finally fading.

I can't think of anything else to write. My hands are trembling.

My mind's only playing a trick on me, but I can't shake it off.

welcome to april

i stood motionless before the mirror
as always, i stayed until i'm convinced that there is no glass, nothing, separating me from the room i see on the other side
i imagine that everything is different over there;better
there are people, in that world, that i would like
but, like always, my hand his the glass

i know that if i'd only waited one more second.

-jcv