so bored

so tired
so bored
so tired

he wont call
wont call
wont call

this is me
and my fictitious sense of apathy

Hallalujah!

Praise Allah!
Etc, etc.

I don't have to leave tomorrow.
So I have more time to spend here.
With you.


I'm watching Good Burger and drinking water and waiting for you to call but something in my head says you wont. I don't think you will. I don't care. I'm just going to take this one victory at a time.

xoxo

Thinking about

Spending my break at my grandparents and not with you is UNBEARABLE.

I'm sorry I don't have any updates on how this is going and I highly doubt you care for me one third, no, one twenty fifth as much as I care for you. God fucking dammit.



The freckles on your arms and your white teeth and your dimples and your curly hair and the smell of your cologne and the way you sing so soft and the way you smile at me... I just.. I want to be near you all the time. I do.
I need to stop wasting posts on this.
I just can't help it.

Half the night

I waste in sighs,
in a wakeful doze I sorrow.
For the hands, the lips, the eyes
For the meeting of tomorrow.



Lovesickness is so beautiful in the beginning stages. But I know it's going to start to hurt soon.
Why did you have to wait this long to walk into my life and why can't things just work out? I know I don't know you that well, but I'd like to...

I am really confused because my friends think I'm blowing them off

But when I listen to you sing the Postal Service and I'm sitting in the front seat of your car and you're right beside me driving and there's ice on the windows and there are good people in the back, I feel kind of infinite.

And sometimes when I'm sitting in your car and I'm listening to you sing and trying not to drown you out with my horrible caterwauling I really feel like I could be content having as my friend. But then I catch sight of your eyes and your hair and your smile and your dimples and I forget about contentment

I don't want to go to my grandparents for break
I want to spend it with you

affectionate indulgences; sweet silver bells

i swear
i would jump through a ring of fire
i would climb mount everest
i would spend every moment of every day wishing on the clouds and the sky and the stars and the trees

if it would get you
to care for me

&
it's the most wonderful time of the year
but not without you

Good god!

I haven't updated this thing in quite some time.

I am told that this is the most wonderful time of the year.

Hmmm.

My tummy hurts.

Today sucked.

Work sucks.