Middle of nowhere

Why are you still so important to me? I mean, fuck, man, this always happens, I waste time on somebody who I shouldn't be wasting time on. It's like this big, shitty circle of, er, shit.

I don't know, I can't even think, nothing feels okay.

"Tonight I'm going above the stars."
References to failed comic book suicide attempts will get me nowhere.

Anyway, the inconsistency of my posting is irritating me. I mean, I'm irritated at myself, because I want this blog to stay important to me, you know? I need to get better at keeping up with this, not for whatever sad people with nothing better to do's benefit, bur for my own. I think I will eventually call it quits but for now I'm going to keep this up, I want to try and .. I don't know. I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

Whatever.

I'm sick of spending seven hours a day learning about absolutely nothing, and then three more at the stupid library, where there are thousands of things I could read, but instead of slap them onto a shelf, or whatever. Also, I hate AV materials. Stupid shit. Nobody is ever going to check out "THE BEST OF CHER." Get a clue.

I hate it when your stories start out with things like, "So I was at this show.." because it sounds fucking pretentious, I dunno why, it just does to me. I'm sick of trying to pick out your flaws to make myself feel better about losing you.

I spend a lot of time complaining and very little getting things done. I want to get away from here. I've been told that it's the same everywhere else, but that's a fucking joke to me. I know that somewhere, I'm missing out on fun and friendships with people who don't fuck with my head and interesting conversations and 24 hour coffee shops. I'm so tired. Of this. Of everything.

Get me out of here. Please?