PARALELL synchronized RANDOMNESS!!!!

Is "I mean what I say" the same as "I say what I mean?" I asked you about this, and we disagreed. We don't usually disagree, except on things like this.
I say they're different. It's like saying "I cry when I'm sad" is the same as "I'm sad when I cry." Because you aren't necessarily ALWAYS sad when you cry, as the first statement illustrates. The second is just contradictory, see? I think they're different, subtly. Or it's just an annoying paradox that I waste a lot of time thinking about.

My nasal cavity keeps doing that painful, irritating twitch that it does when I'm sick. I am very tired of this. I also miss you, and hope that you miss me. Valentine's Day is coming up, and like everyone else, we are going to obey corporate propaganda, and celebrate it together!!! Which I secretly (ish) enjoy. And we'd probably be spending time with eachother anyway, but that's not the point. The point is, there is no point.

Man, I will get to sleep in tomorrow. And I want to get better soon.

I'm so exhausted. But I can't sleep.
As always..

Don't let these words deceive you-- things are good. Great. Wonderful. I'm trying to deal with my lack of confidence, and general inadequacies. I am trying to be less obnoxious. I'm not changing for anybody, really, because I'm not changing. And even if I did, well, I doubt anybody would notice.

Is it selfish of me to want people (by "people" I mean "boys") to love me, even if I don't feel the same way, and this could ultimately cause them discomfort? It definitely is. Shit. But on the other hand, this want could be spurred by my general contempt for the "l word." If you don't stick it out, it's not real. In my head, atleast. I don't see how people can get over one another so quickly. Or at all.
I think that I just have some deep, pathetic need to be needed. Because, well, isn't that what everybody wants? When it all comes down to it, humans are really similar to one another.. Sickening, but true.