fuck was i

I've got this good thing going, and I love what's happening and.. I'm just this big pessimist at heart, and I'm so afraid that it wont last, and I have no basis for this fear, it's completely... irrational and random. But I'm just so scared that it'll end and I just know how sad that would be, regardless of the circumstances, because this thing is just so perfect and wonderful even though it's in the beginning stages, I... I don't know....!

I feel stupid now. If I actually have the courage to click post, it'll be a miracle. I hope that this isn't a really weird way to feel. Because then I would worry even more, haha. And it's not like I have a bad feeling about this thing, because I don't, I have an incredible feeling about it, but I'm just scared because I'm more aware than anyone (obviously, I guess, haha) of my flaws and how major they are and I want them to be looked over or seen through, but I dunno, I guess it's just hard.

I think I am really really insecure.