I wish, and wish, and wish.

I have nothing interesting to write about. Ho, hum.

I want to rant and rant so this blog will be nice and long to make up for the shitty, tiny things I've been posting lately. So far nothing to rant about has come into my head. I could talk more about you, but.. I don't know.

I guess I've just been thinking about how you give me that feeling in my chest. The feeling that I get when I listen to "Capture the Flag." Like there are butterflies inside of me-- but not in my stomach. More in my chest. More like they're going to climb up my throat and out my mouth and fly away. And I just feel like this calm, peaceful person, because you level me out. You get into my head. There is one photograph that reminds me so much of you, it makes me want to cry. I'll include it in this post.


It seems like the days are getting more and more the same, and I loathe routines. I want this shit to be over with. School, I mean. Sitting in Fundamentals of Food with the timid, miniature, blonde teacher and a group of absolutely morons is not what I call a good time. I'm so much more comfortable around you when we're outside of those stupid fucking whitewashed walls. With everyone around us, I feel like I've got to meet some kind of expectation. But with just you.. I'm humble. And complete. And whatever happens, happens, and whatever doesn't, doesn't, but you're with me so nothing really matters as much as it would in the outside world. Why I should care what a bunch of arrogant high schoolers (complete with head-up-ass action!) think of us is beyond me. But for some reason I do.

I'm constantly molded into this piece of shit person, this asshole I don't even like, when I have to spend too much time inside of that prison. I'm loud. And obnoxious. And I just.. I just want to kick my own ass. And it should really stop.